


Three Parts

by denna5



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-12 00:49:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5647843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denna5/pseuds/denna5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>WinterHawk exchange fic</p><p>Written loosely based on the following prompt. </p><p>Bucky gets jealous of Clint/Steve, at first Steve thinks Bucky is just jealous of the time they spend together and starts separating them for more one on one bonding time but he eventually figures it out and Clint/Steve invite him to join.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Winter-Hawk on tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Winter-Hawk+on+tumblr).



> So this is my fic for the exchange and it is a bit of a monster and one of the sappiest things I have ever written but I still enjoy it. Will post in two parts because it is huge. Hope you enjoy and comments are awesome.

*-*-*-*-*

The room is dark, quiet, and not very familiar to him as Bucky wakes up, as he tries to calm down from the dream. It was a bad one but he has had worse and he makes himself breathe and look around the room, reacquaint himself with it instead of thinking of the nightmare, the memory. He is sitting up now, can feel the blanket around him, the soft worn fleece that he chose earlier, a mattress without a frame under him. This is a safe house, one of Clint’s, and they had come here earlier, are staying here because it is close to the target they are going for soon and he isn’t alone here. There is another mattress nearby, two people on that one and Bucky looks over there now, can hear their soft breathing. Steve and Clint are still asleep and Bucky knows that he is safe but he is still a bit shaken. He isn’t going to be able to get back to sleep now, the nightmare is too fresh, and so he gets up quietly, hopes he doesn’t disturb their sleep and makes his way out of the room now, heads to the bathroom.

His right hand is shaking a bit as he turns on the water, the metal one never does, but it has shook worse before and at least he didn’t wake up screaming this time. The dreams are still there but it is getting easier to deal with them and he reminds himself of that as he splashes water on his face. There are still bad days but there are more good days now and he isn’t alone anymore. He has people he can trust now, people willing to listen to him, willing to fight for him and that has helped more than anything. He could wake someone up now, if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. They have a mission soon, everyone needs rest and Bucky can handle this one by himself, just needs a distraction. With that thought in mind, he leaves the bathroom now, walks past the other room where Sam and Natasha are hopefully asleep and goes into the small kitchen.

He looks around the kitchen, searching for something he isn’t sure he is going to find. It is stocked but just barely, mostly things that won’t go bad and he really doesn’t need a meal right now, just needs something to help keep his mind off of things right now. He founds a box of tea bags, all different kinds jammed into one old box, and he used to make tea for Steve a lot, needed something to warm him up. It might help so he gets some water going, starts looking for the mugs now and that is when he hears footsteps, knows that someone is coming, and he doesn’t stop looking, just waits for them to enter and say something.

“Are you making coffee?”

The question comes and Bucky turns around and Clint is there in the doorway. He has an old t-shirt on, sleep pants, hair a mess, but his eyes are alert, awake and Bucky wonders if perhaps he woke up someone after all.

“Planning on having tea, if I can find the mugs.”

He says this simply, turns back around to the cabinets now. He can hear Clint move closer now but he doesn’t get too close to Bucky, just reaches up and opens up one of the cupboards, draws Bucky’s attention to it. There are some mugs there, a random assortment and Bucky reaches for one now.

“I’m going to guess that you are up for a reason other than wanting some tea. Nightmare again?”

Clint asks and Bucky just gives a nod, doesn’t deny it. Clint knows about the nightmares, all of them do, and he and Steve have seen Bucky through them before. Clint understands the nightmares, the fear, understands them in a way that Steve can’t. Clint has his own nightmares of not having control, has told Bucky about them before and it is one of the reasons he trusts him.

“You could have woken one of us up.”

He says it simply and Bucky just gives a bit of a shrug.

“It wasn’t a bad one. Want some tea?”

He offers, knows Clint prefers coffee but has seen him drink tea a couple times before. Clint just gives his own shrug now and reaches inside the cupboard now, pulls down another two mugs. At Bucky’s glance, he gives an explanation.

“Steve will probably be up soon enough. Might as well make a cup for him too.”

Bucky just gives a nod, knows that Steve will be up soon if both he and Clint aren’t in the room. Steve has always slept better when someone else is around, Bucky remembers that now, remembers sharing a bed with him, sharing covers. They don’t do that much now, Clint shares Steve’s covers instead and Bucky is nearby, often in the same room but not really lying with them and it is a change he is still adjusting to. It is good, not sleeping alone but it still feels like there is something missing and sometimes, he wants to lay closer to them. He is lonely sometimes and being with them helps but sometimes it doesn’t at the same time and he isn’t sure why. He doesn’t dwell on it right now, focuses instead on picking out his tea.

He rifles through the bags now, there are a bunch of different kinds crammed in there, and he finds one in a dark red package that catches his eyes. It is cinnamon apple and Bucky has always liked the smell of cinnamon, remembers the taste of it in the pie his mom used to make. He doesn’t know if he will like it but he wants to try it, has been enjoying being able to discover what he likes again. He tears the package open now and puts the bag in his cup before handing the box to Clint. The shaking is gone now and he is able to pour the hot water into his cup without any problems and watches as Clint picks out his own tea and then a bag for Steve. They sit in quiet for a bit, c, the tea seeping and Clint gets out some sugar and adds it to his as he sits down close to him but Bucky waits, wants to see what his tastes like before he adds anything to it.

Bucky lets it cool down just a bit and takes a sniff of it. The cinnamon smell is strong and he likes that, hopes that it tastes good. He takes a sip of it and all he can really taste is the cinnamon and it is alright but not his favorite, isn’t as sweet as he hoped it would be. He must show a bit of his distaste for it on his face because Clint pushes the sugar over to him.

“Not your favorite, huh?”

He asks and Bucky shakes his head a bit, puts some sugar in it and takes a sip now. It is better but still not quite what he was hoping for.

“I thought it would taste like apple pie but it doesn’t.”

“I’m not a big fan of the apple cinnamon either but Tasha likes it so we always have it. Orange spice is way better. Have a sip of mine.”

Clint offers up his cup now and Bucky takes it. The cup is warm in his hand and he likes the smell of this one, takes a drink. Clint put just a bit of sugar in it and it is sweet but not overly and it tastes good, the spices in it a little less overwhelming than the apple cinnamon. He hands Clint back the cup just a little reluctantly and as Clint takes it from him, his fingers brush against Bucky’s and the brief touch is nice, Clint’s fingers warm.

“It is better than mine.”

He says this and Clint gives him a bit of a grin, one that sends a feeling of warmth through Bucky that has little to do with the tea. Bucky likes seeing Clint smile just like he likes seeing Steve smile and before he can think about that too much Clint is speaking.

“I have great taste in everything. You can steal some of Steve’s too if you want. It is peppermint.”

Bucky shakes his head, has never cared for peppermint all that much but Steve has always loved that flavor. He goes back to his own tea now, sits in silence with Clint till there is the sound of footsteps coming again. Soon enough, Steve enters the kitchen, sees both of them and make his way over to them.

“You’re both up early.”

He says it simply and they both shrug, Clint gesturing to the other cup. Steve just gives a nod and comes to sit down beside them. As he passes Bucky, he places a hand on his right shoulder for a moment, squeezes it just a bit. There isn’t much force to it, just a gentle touch really, a reassurance and Bucky doesn’t move away from it, just gives Steve a glance, lets him know without words that he is alright. Steve gives a small smile before moving over to Clint, sitting down beside him. He touches Clint as well but he puts his hand on the back of Clint’s neck instead and Clint leans into the touch a bit. There is an easiness in the way they touch each other, a familiarity and Bucky has seen them like this often but he looks down at his tea now. He knows what Clint and Steve are to each other, is comfortable around them both but sometimes when he sees the little gestures they have, the little touches that they share, something in him feels tight. It is something he is getting used to but there is relief when he looks back up and Steve’s hand is no longer on Clint’s neck though they are still close together. There is quiet for a just a few minutes before Steve speaks.

“So we head for the base pretty soon. Are we sure the west entrance is the weakest spot?”

He says this and then the three of them start to discuss the mission, go over the last little details. Bucky focuses on that now, doesn’t think about the thoughts of how he feels when he sees them touch and instead focuses on the mission they will be doing soon, on making sure all of them get out of there in one piece.

*-*-*-*-*

The mission is over, they made it back to the safe house, and in a few hours they will head out but they are going to take a few hours to rest, to clean up and make sure they are alright. Sam is in already cleaned up, just has a few bruises forming, and is in the kitchen trying to put something quick together so they can all get some food in their system. Natasha is with him, no worse for the wear, and she told Steve that she would make the call to Hill, would check in. Steve himself is alright, the serum taking care of any damage he got and Bucky is alright as well. Clint looks alright for the most part but he got a cut on his forehead that needs to be cleaned and he is favoring his right side a bit, got a good kick in the ribs there. Steve is with him in the bathroom, watching as he cleans up and he isn’t the only one.

“You can’t just clean that with water and soap. It needs disinfectant. Here, sit down and let me do it.”

Bucky says this and he doesn’t really give Clint a chance to say anything before he is pulling the wash rag out of Clint’s hand and then putting a hand on his shoulder and making him sit down on the toilet. Clint lets out a bit of huff, starts to get up again, but Bucky pushes him back down. Steve just watches with a bit of amusement as Clint gives him a look.

“You should just let him do it. When he is in nurse mode, it is just easier to go along with him.”

Steve says this and Bucky gives him just a hint of a glare but then he is getting out some disinfectant and a fresh rag. Clint just shakes his head a bit but lets Bucky clean the gash. Steve just watches Bucky fuss over Clint a bit and it reminds him so much of how Bucky used to be, the way he used to take care of Steve. He likes seeing that again, even if he isn’t the focus of Bucky’s care right now, but he doesn’t mind Bucky looking after Clint. He knows Bucky cares for Clint, they understand each other after all, and Steve is glad that he has both of them now.  

“We need to check your ribs now.”

Bucky says this as he finishes with the gash, has placed a clean bandage on it, and Clint just gives a shrug, takes off his shirt. There is some bruising on his side already, purple marks and Bucky is gently touching them, asking Clint how badly they hurt. It looks like they are just bruised, not broken, but Bucky says something about icing them and soon enough he is leaving the bathroom, words about Clint staying there till he is back and then it is just Clint and Steve.

“Was he like that back when it was the two of you?”

Clint asks now and Steve comes closer to him. He gives a smile as he answers.

“He was worse. The ribs aren’t bugging you too much, right?”

Steve puts his hand on the bruising now, gently move his fingers over it. Clint draws a breath and gives a nod.

“They hurt but they should be better soon enough. If you’re worried about it, you could try to kiss me better.”

There is a hint of teasing in his voice and Steve grins at it a bit before leaning down and kissing him. Clint’s lips are a bit chapped but they are still soft and Steve curls fingers around the back of Clint’s neck. He likes kissing Clint and it sends a tiny thrill of excitement through him like it always does. It is nice, the affection that he gives Clint, that Clint returns, and sometimes, Steve isn’t sure what he would do without Clint. They haven’t been able to have a lot of touching right now, too much going on and they are hardly ever alone and Steve enjoys the kiss right now, this moment that is just for the two of them

“I got the ice and there is food, we should head to the kitchen.”

Bucky’s voice sounds from the door way and Steve breaks the kiss now, straightens up and looks over at Bucky. He stands in the doorway, ice pack in hand, and there is a brief look that passes over his features for just a moment, one that Steve isn’t quite sure of. It isn’t one of discomfort, just something else, and Bucky walks closer to them and Clint pulls his shirt on now, accepts the ice pack and puts it on his ribs. They all three head to the kitchen now, Natasha and Sam already there and seated next to each other.

“ No Hello Kitty band aid this time?”

Natasha asks as Clint sits down next to her, touches the plain white gauze that is taped on his forehead. Her fingers move briefly to his hair then, gives his head a pat, a small affectionate gesture.  Steve doesn’t say anything about it, after all he is used to how close Natasha and Clint are, has adjusted to it and he knows that they aren’t into each other that way, that they are both spoken for even if he isn’t quite clear on all the details of Natasha’s relationship with Sam and Maria. Clint just gives a bit of a shrug.

“I think we are out and maybe Bucky just likes to stick to the classics.”

Natasha just shakes her head a bit and leans back in her chair, her shoulder touching Sam’s. Steve sits down next to Clint, Bucky beside him, and it is nice to have a bit of a break right now, for the mission to be over for right now. They eat and talk and go over the mission and it is comfortable. They are a group, a team. It is different than the commandos, a different dynamic at times but Steve is glad to have it again, to feel a part of a something. He is drawn out of his thoughts as Bucky starts fussing over Clint again.

“You need to keep that on your ribs.”

Bucky says this, points to the ice pack that Clint has just now put on the table. Clint just shrugs a bit, doesn’t reach to grab the ice pack again and just continues eating. Bucky is glaring now and Steve recognizes that look, used to be on the receiving end of it quite a bit.

“You need to ice those to keep the bruising down. Put it back on.”

“I have had worse than bruised ribs, I can handle not icing it for a bit. Besides, my hands are a bit busy right now.”

Clint says this, just a bit of stubbornness in his voice. Steve recognizes that as well, knows that Clint doesn’t like a lot of fussing over minor injuries. Steve knows how stubborn Clint gets with injuries, knows how stubborn Buck can get when trying to take care of people, so he remains quiet for right now but not everybody does.

“He has had a lot worse. He didn’t bleed that much this time and nothing is broken which for Clint is great. You managed to get him to cover his head wound and ice for at least five minutes which is an accomplishment. ”

Natasha says this and Steve isn’t sure if it supposed to be a reassurance to Bucky or not.

“He needs to ice it more. You can find a way to keep it on there.”

Bucky says this, his arms stretched out now and Steve thinks he might make a grab for the ice pack soon, might try to put it on Clint himself.

“We have some duct tape.”

Sam says this, tone a bit teasing but there is a glint in Bucky’s eyes as if he is seriously considering it. Steve decides to take matters into his own hands now and grabs the ice pack himself, puts it on Clint’s ribs and holds it there with his left hand, keeping his other free so that he can use it if needed. Only his thumb and a couple of fingers are on the ice pack, the other two are on Clint’s side and he brushes them gently across the fabric of Clint’s shirt. Clint looks at him, something like amusement and maybe annoyance but he doesn’t move away or tell Steve to move it.

“No reason to waste tape. This works and you can take over when you are done. ”

Steve says this and he can feel eyes on him, looks over at Bucky who just gives a bit of a shrug now, returns to his food, though his eyes keep looking over at them as the small meal continues. Steve keeps the ice pack on Clint’s ribs like promised, but he moves his fingers a bit and Clint squirms just a bit, the movement tickling him. Clint takes the ice pack back after a few minutes, bushes his own fingers across Steve’s as he does so. Clint settles back then, one hand holding the icepack onto his side and the other on Steve’s knee. They stay like that as they finish up and Bucky’s eyes shift over towards them and Steve can see that same look from the bathroom again and he wonders if Bucky is alright, if they need to talk about something. It can wait till they are back home, till there is a break in things and Steve just enjoys these quiet moments for what they are.

*-*-*-*-*

It has been about a week since the last mission and Clint’s ribs are still hurting but they aren’t broken and it hasn’t been too bad since they made it back to Steve’s apartment. They got back late the first night and Clint had slept on his back, he and Steve and Bucky sharing Steve’s room while Nat and Sam took the living room. The next day, Maria came when she had a break from her duties at Stark’s and they ate greasy pizza and watched cheesy movies and nothing really eventful has happened since. There hasn’t been anything urgent yet, no signs that there will be for a while and Clint thinks it may be time to take a little break, get away from everything for a bit.

“What do you think about getting away from the city for a little while?”

Clint asks as he lies on the couch, head in Steve’s lap as Steve’s fingers play with his hair. Bucky is in the shower right now and it is just the two of them and these moments aren’t as often as they used to be. There has been so much going on, missions and helping Bucky recover, that they don’t always get time to themselves. Clint misses it a bit, misses having Steve to himself, misses sex which they haven’t really had a chance for in a while, but the sacrifice has been worth it for the most part. Bucky is doing great even if he is starting to be a bit of a pain when he thinks Clint isn’t looking after himself but that makes Steve smile and so Clint puts up with it. Right now, Steve gives a small smile, a tilt of his head as he asks a question and his fingers stay in Clint’s hair.

“ Might be nice. You got a place in mind?”

“I do. Have a house actually, used to be a farm. It is a bit old but there is plenty of room there, Bucky could even have his own bed.”

He hasn’t been to the farm in a while but it should be in good shape still, some neighbors check up on it when Clint isn’t there. It was his grandparents’ house, his dad’s parents, and Clint had only met them a few times when he young, had only been there a few times, but it was one of the bright spots of his early life. They were gone before the accident but the house was left to him and Barney and Clint was the one to claim it a long time ago. He uses it mostly when he needs to get away and he hasn’t taken Steve there yet but he wants to. He includes Bucky in his offer because he knows that Steve won’t want to leave him on his own after just getting him back months ago and he doesn’t really want to leave Bucky alone either. It might end up being more than just the three of them for a bit, after all Clint will talk to Nat about it as well, but there will still be more space than here and it might help Bucky to be somewhere less cramped and busy for a little bit. Steve looks at him for a moment, and then speaks.

“It might be nice, we could all use a break and there are no pressing concerns right now. We could go there for a bit, we can iron out the details in the next couple of days.”

Clint gives a smile of his own now, looks forward to it, and they are silent again, a comfortable one. Steve’s fingers are rubbing little circles on his scalp now and Clint could fall asleep like this but he can hear the shower turning off. Bucky will be out here soon, they are planning to watch a movie so he should probably move but he doesn’t. Clint stays like that, laying on the couch, Steve’s fingers massaging his scalp and soon enough he can hear footsteps, hear Bucky’s voice as he gets closer to the couch.

“Are you going to let me sit there or do I have to pull over one of the chairs?”

Steve doesn’t have much furniture right now, the couch is the main one in the living room and is the best spot to watch tv from. They can all three fit on and have before but Clint is taking up most of it right now. Steve moves his fingers away from his hair and Clint grumbles a bit, shifts his legs so that they are in the air instead of on the couch and Bucky comes over, sits down. Now, Clint should sit up, should put his feet on the floor but he is really comfortable with his head in Steve’s lap. Instead, he puts his legs back down, puts them in Bucky’s lap and he can hear a sigh and Bucky is looking over at him. He hasn’t pushed Clint’s legs away, has gotten much better at accepting touch these last months, but there is just a hint of annoyance in his eyes but something else as well. Clint just shrugs a bit.

“My ribs still hurt, it feels nice like this and Steve is a good pillow.”

There is a snort from Steve now but his fingers go back in Clint’s hair. There is just a moment of a quiet before Bucky speaks again.

“So Steve is your pillow while I get to be your foot rest? I don’t know what I am getting out of this deal.”

“If you let me lay like this for a bit, I will make those grilled cheeses that you like after the movie is over. We have everything for them.”

Clint was planning on making the grilled cheeses anyway but Bucky doesn’t need to know that. There is another sigh but Bucky doesn’t push his legs off, instead he shifts just a bit, leans into the back of the couch and settles his left arm on the arm rest of the couch and his right one across Clint’s legs.

“Fine but I want extra bacon in mine.”

“Deal.”

Clint says this, thinks about offering a hand to shake but decides against it, he is comfy how he is now. There is a small chuckle from Steve now and he shifts just a bit, grabs the remote without moving Clint too much.

“Now that is settled, I will go ahead and start the movie.”

Steve says this and pushes start on the remote. They settle down and watch the movie, all of them making a few comments here and there. Steve’s fingers keep playing with Clint’s hair and Bucky’s right hand fingers lay on his legs, every once in a while shifting just a bit but they stay there, a warm pressure. It is comfortable and Clint is almost sad when he has to get up to make the grilled cheeses but Bucky’s small grin when Clint loads his with bacon is a lot like Steve’s smiles and Clint doesn’t mind moving from his spot as much.

They eat their sandwiches, watch another short movie and then it is time to get some rest. They all end up in Steve’s room, a sort of unspoken arrangement. At the beginning, they tried to make sure someone was around when Bucky would sleep, needed to make sure someone was there if he had a nightmare or if things got bad and now it is just a habit. There isn’t always much space at the various safe houses they stay at during missions and it is much the same at Steve’s apartment, Clint gave up his own a while ago, and it was decided that it is better if Bucky isn’t at the tower so they have been sharing a room, often times a bed.

Bucky goes to the right side of the bed, has his own blankets and he huddles under them now. Steve and Clint share the left, share blankets, and Clint like laying with Steve’s arms around him. Steve brushes a quick kiss against Clint’s lips and if they were alone, it would lead to a bit more but they aren’t alone. Bucky is just inches away and so Clint returns the kiss but it is quick, soft and sweet. He wants a bit more but now isn’t the time for it so he settles himself down next to Steve, closes his eyes and after a while he sleeps.

The next couple of days go by easily and Clint gets a chance to tell Steve about the farm, where it is, how big it is and they also talk about it with Bucky. They both seem alright with the idea though Bucky goes still and quiet for a little bit when Clint tells him that he can have his own room when they stay there. He shakes it off after a moment and tells Clint that will be fine and then asks a question about how close it is to the nearest town. Clint answers his question and the strangeness of the moment seems to pass.

About three days after Clint brings up the farm with Steve, he goes over to Nat’s for lunch. It is something they do fairly often but haven’t had much time for lately. It is really more like brunch, Natasha doesn’t have much patience for cooking and prefers simple things she can make quickly and Clint never turns down anything that has to do with coffee. Right now, the coffee is brewing and he helps crack open some eggs as Nat fries up some bacon and he decides to talk to her about the farm now.

“So I am planning on taking Steve and Bucky to the farm house, haven’t been in awhile. You and your people are invented to come.”

She turns to him now as she moves some of the bacon to the plate to cool off on paper towels.

“My people?”

There is a bit of a raised a brow with her question and Clint just shrugs a bit.

“Your people. Your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your other halves, your partners, whatever it is you call them. “

Natasha just gives a bit of a shrug now.

“I just usually call them Sam and Maria. I will talk to them, I think Maria might want a bit of a break from Stark. “

It is still odd sometimes hearing Natasha say Maria instead of Hill but Clint thinks it is a change for the better. There always seemed to be an attraction between the two women, a fondness and understanding but they never acted on it before the fall of SHIELD. Natasha was still trying to distance herself from most people, long ingrained habit from the red room, and Hill was always too professional to engage in any kind romance with someone she worked with. Then SHIELD fell and Sam Wilson appeared and things started to change. Natasha started to form a life for herself, Maria wasn’t tied down by regulations, and Sam was there, getting to know both of them and helping everybody out and somehow a relationship formed. It has been good for Nat, Clint sees that, and he thinks the three of them balance each other out.

“They’re good for you, you know, and you’re good for them.”

He says this, bumps her shoulder just a bit. She looks at him, a brief smile and then she speaks.

“I agree with the first part, not so sure about the second, but I’m working on it.”

Clint won’t argue with her too much, has his own guilt and issues that he has worked through, some he is still working on, so instead he just gives her smile.

“ You’ll get there. I’m glad that you’re happy, that they make you happy. You deserve that.”

He says it and means it and Natasha shakes her head again but there is a smile on her face.

“You’re getting sappy on me, Barton. Think maybe you should save that for your boyfriend. Steve might appreciate it a bit more than I do. ”

He gives her a glare but there is no heat behind it and she knows it, just goes back to frying more bacon. Clint starts mixing the eggs with some milk and some spices.

“I’m not sappy with Steve, it isn’t like that with us.”

He says this as he puts the eggs in another pan, starts cooking them as Nat finishes up the bacon. She just rolls her eyes a bit.

“I think there is at least some sappiness, I know that you two cuddle, I have seen it. “

She widens her eyes wide, a fake look of shock on her face, like cuddling in front of her is an indecent act and Clint chuckles at it a bit.

“There is nothing wrong with cuddling. I like cuddling.”

Clint does like cuddling, likes the contact, the warmth of it. He might be a bit touch starved from when he was younger, when most touches were hits, but Steve doesn’t seem to mind too much. They both like to cuddle, like touch, and it seems to be working out for them. The eggs are cooking now and he flips them in the pan, breaks them up to scramble them as Natasha says something else.

“You getting enough cuddling with Barnes around?”

She asks and Clint knows that she isn’t just asking about the cuddling. He just gives a shrug.

“Getting some cuddles in, can’t do too much since we aren’t alone all that often, but we are getting by.”

“You can have Barnes sleep on the couch sometimes, get alone time if you need it.”

She says this, starts to get plates out now and Clint really isn’t sure what to say to it. He thinks about it for a few moments as he adds cheese to the eggs.

“We are doing fine and it helps Steve to not worry so much if Bucky is near by. He likes having him around and I do too.”

It is the truth, Clint likes having Bucky around. Natasha just shrugs and starts dividing the bacon onto the plates and Clint turns the eggs off now.

“As long as you are getting what you need.”

She says this and holds the plates out to him and he dishes up the eggs.

“I am, I promise. Now, let’s eat, I’m ready for coffee.”

She rolls her eyes but takes the plates to her small table. Clint gets them both a cup of coffee and then they sit, enjoy their brunch while talking about whatever pops into their heads.

*-*-*-*-*

It has been a long drive, a long trip to get here, and Bucky is glad that it is over. It wasn’t a bad trip but it gave him a little too much time to think, to focus on things he has been trying to ignore, on things that he feels that he shouldn’t. He tries to push it all aside now as they get out of the car, as they grab their bags and head to the old, sprawling house.

“So this is it. It isn’t much but at least it is a change of pace.”

Clint says this as they get up on the porch, as he sets his bags down and gets out a key. Bucky takes a chance to look around as Clint gets the door open. The house is old, the paint peeling in a few spots, one of the wooden steps creaked when they walked up on it, and there is an old barn next to it. It isn’t a whole lot but it is bigger than Steve’s apartment, has more space for sure and the land it sits on is pretty. Lots of open space and it may not be so bad spending some time here as long as Bucky can keep a handle on his thoughts.

“Three of the bedrooms are upstairs, two are down here. There are beds in all of them and I have sheets and stuff here but we can always get more.”

Clint is saying all this as they enter the house, all three of them grabbing their bags and placing them in the living room. Steve stands close to Clint right now, puts a hand on his shoulder and Bucky feels the now familiar tightness at seeing the gesture, knows what to call it now. He pushes his jealousy aside as Steve speaks.

“So Sam, Natasha, and Maria should be here in a few hours but you want to give us a tour now?”

“Yea, we can do that. I’ll show you down here first and then we can go upstairs.”

Clint says this and leads them around for a bit. He shows them the living room first, the little sunroom near the kitchen, the kitchen and the bathroom down here and then the bedrooms. At one point, Clint takes Steve’s hand and drags him to look at one of the bay windows and there is another pang of jealousy. He pushes it down as he follows them up the stairs now.

Upstairs is the master bedroom connected to a little half bathroom, two smaller bedrooms and a full bath room. There is a random assortment of furniture scattered through the house, all of the bedrooms have beds but one of the ones up here and one downstairs that is all they have while the others have a few more things in them. Lots of the furniture is old, a few newer things scattered through out. Clint had told them how this had been his grand parent’s house when he was younger but no one has really lived in it regularly since then. He mostly just comes here every once in a while and that is why he hasn’t gotten that much of the furniture replaced. There is a nice tv downstairs and Bucky had noticed the newish coffee pot in the kitchen and so it seems that Clint has prioritized what to replace first. The tour is over now and Clint tells them they can get their things put away before the others come.

“So the master bedroom is taken but anything else can be yours. I’ll let you take first pick. “

Clint says this and Bucky gives a nod and picks up his stuff, starts thinking about which room to take as Steve and Clint take their stuff upstairs. He has his choice and at first he thinks he will take one of the one downstairs, will give Clint and Steve some distance but it doesn’t feel right to be so far from them. He walks upstairs instead, takes his stuff to the bedroom next to the master bedroom. The little half bath separates the rooms from each other and Bucky thinks that will be enough to give them some privacy. He starts to put his stuff away when he hears footsteps and then a voice.

“This one has a good view .”

Steve says this as he enters the room and Bucky just gives a nod. Steve moves a little closer to him now and after just a moment, reaches a hand out and places it on his shoulder. The touch is warm, nice , and Bucky doesn’t shrug it away.

“You are ok, right? This isn’t too much, coming out here?”

Steve asks and his voice is soft, tinted with worry. It is a tone that Bucky is used to by now, is used to all the worry and concern that Steve gives him now and sometimes it is nice and other times it is a little overwhelming. He used to be the one to worry about Steve, that used to check up on him all the time, and now it has switched a bit.

“I’m ok. It was just a long car ride.”

He says this, makes his voice sound steady and sure. Steve gives a nod but he doesn’t move away yet, still has his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and he gives it a squeeze now.

“Ok but you know if there is something wrong you can talk to me about it. Or Clint.”

“I know.”

Bucky says this and Steve just gives him a bit of a smile and lets go of his shoulder now. Bucky knows that he can talk to them, has before, but he can’t talk to them about this.  He is drawn out of this thoughts by more footsteps and now Clint is in the doorway.

“I thought I could show you guys the barn now.”

Steve gives a nod and walks towards Clint but Bucky stays where he is.

“Go ahead. I’ll be down in a minute. Gotta take a piss. ”

Bucky says this and it is enough for them and they leave after just a moment. Bucky can hear their footsteps and voices going down the hall till they fade and he is alone. He sits down on the bed now, takes some deep breaths. He can do this, has been doing it for   a while now before he even realized that he was doing it, before he had names for all the feelings he has had for weeks now. Bucky can pretend to feel nothing but friendship for Clint and Steve, can keep his feelings secret because there is too much to lose if he doesn’t.

He gets up now, goes to the bathroom, and he thinks as he washes his hands. Bucky isn’t sure when exactly he figured it out, if it was back on their last mission, if it was when they were all on the couch and Clint’s legs were on his lap, or if it was late one night when he could hear their soft breathing as they slept but now that he knows it, it is hard to ignore. He loves them, both of them, and it is more than just love for friends. He loved Steve before and he loves him in a different way now and somewhere along these last months, he has fallen in love with Clint as well. Steve is a connection to his past, knew him before he was broken and is helping him remember how that was, and Clint is a connection to now, understands how Bucky is broken and is helping put him back together, and he loves them both. It is his secret, this love that he feels, and he can keep it hidden.

He makes his way downstairs now, walks out the front door and down the creaky steps. The barn is there and he can hear Clint and Steve now, can hear them talking and laughing just bit as he gets closer. There is that tightness in his chest again but he pushes it down, focuses on making his way to them. He enters the barn now and they are there in the corner, looking at something and he can hear what Steve is saying now.

“That was quite an outfit, lots of purple.”

Steve says this and Bucky moves closer, can see what they are looking at now. It is an old circus poster, one that has a younger Clint on it and he is in a ridiculous outfit. Steve is right, it is a lot of purple, a purple tunic, purple tights and there is even some purple on part of Clint’s bow. Clint in the poster has a cocky smile on his face and the whole poster is a bit over the top but it is a piece of Clint’s past and Bucky is glad to see it.

“I look good in purple.”

Clint says this and Bucky is close to them now. Steve is shaking his head a bit but there is a smile on his face and he is close to Clint, their shoulders are touching. They look good together, right, and that is why Bucky can’t tell them, can’t risk breaking this apart. He still needs them though, needs to be a part of this. He takes a breath, walks up to them, and asks a question.

“You still have that outfit somewhere?”

They both turn to him now and it is nice having their attention even if it isn’t quite how he wants it. He just gives a grin right now and waits for Clint’s answer.

“I think Nat burned it when I said I might wear it on mission sometime.”

This gets a bit of a laugh out of Bucky and Steve chuckles a bit as well. Clint just shrugs and offers to show them the rest of the land and then they can make a quick trip to town, get some stuff before the others get here. Bucky follows them and pretends that everything is fine. He is good at pretending.

*-*-*-*-*


	2. Chapter 2

*-*-*-*-*

The first full day of their little break, Clint wakes up and the bed feels strangely empty. Steve is right next to him, warm and solid, and it takes Clint a moment to figure out just what feels off even though his boyfriend is right there. Bucky isn’t in the room with them, has his own room here, and he had went there last night instead of here. It is a small change but he is sure Bucky likes having a chance to have his own space right now so Clint just pushes the feeling of oddness away and gives Steve a kiss as the other man wakes up. Steve returns it but he grumbles a little bit after.

“You should brush your teeth. Your breath is not so great.”

Clint just smirks a bit.

“Morning to you, too. Yours is like roses.”

Steve rolls his eyes at him but gives him another peck and then Clint gets up, brushes his teeth. He needs coffee, lots of coffee and he tells Steve this and Steve just tells him to go ahead, that he will be down soon. Clint leaves the room and makes his way down the hall to the stairs. He passes by Bucky’s room and the door is open but there is no sight of Bucky. There is a bit of noise coming from downstairs and so Clint doesn’t worry about Bucky not being in his room. He makes his way down stairs to the kitchen and one of the first things he sees is Bucky at the stove, a pot of coffee on the counter near by, and as he enters he can see that Bucky isn’t the only one there.

Hill is at the table, a cup of coffee in her hands as she sits there, still in her pajamas watching Bucky at the stove. It is a strange sight, seeing Maria in pajamas with her hair still a bit of mess from sleep clutching her coffee cup like a life line and Clint is getting used to seeing her less professional side, even if it still throws him off at times. For years she was one of his commanding officers and he never expected to see her in pajamas in his kitchen but stranger things have happened. Still, he can’t help but comment.

“You have a cat on your shirt.”

“You’re not even wearing a shirt.”

Maria says this, peers over her coffee like she isn’t even sure why they are talking about this. Clint just shrugs, didn’t really feel the need to pull a shirt on this morning, and he walks around the table, goes to the coffee pot, talking as he does so.

“My house, I could walk around nude if I wanted to.”

Maria looks at him for a moment before taking a sip of her coffee and then shrugging.

“You could. I have probably seen worse.”

Clint isn’t quite sure what to make of that comment so he just simply pours his coffee, gives a nod to Bucky, and then looks back over at Maria and that is when he gets a good look at her pajama pants.

“You have cats on your pants too.”

There are little cats all over Maria’s pants, little black and white fluff balls that match the one on her shirt, and Clint really isn’t sure how to process this. He settles for taking a deep gulp of coffee.

“I like cats, they are fluffy and cute and are more independent than dogs. These pajamas are comfy and they were a gift.”

Maria says this so matter of fact that Clint just has to give a nod.

“Just didn’t see you as a cat person.”

He says this and she just shrugs and goes back to her coffee and he figures that this is probably a good point to end the conversation. He turns towards the stove now, to Bucky and gives him a smile as he flips some French toast that he is making and asks a question.

“You sleep alright?”

“Yep. You want to get out some syrup and stuff? Made enough to share.”

Clint looks at the counter and Bucky’s statement about enough to share is true and then some. There is already a platter full of slices of French toast and Bucky is finishing up some more in the plan.

“Are you planning on feeding an army?”

He asks now and Bucky just shakes his head a bit as he puts the rest of the toast on the platter.

“No, I’m planning on feeding six people, two of which have super metabolisms. Just thought maybe everyone would like more than one slice of toast.”

Clint gets his point so he just gets out the syrup as Sam enters the kitchen, says good morning to all of them, gets a cup of coffee and sits down next to Maria, gives her a quick peck of a kiss and it is kind of sweet. He has seen them exchange small gestures like that, seen them do it with Nat as well but those are sometimes a bit more subtle. It all seems to be working out for the three of them and that is all that matters.

Clint gets out plates and silver ware now, sits them down . Steve and Natasha both join them after that and then breakfast is ate. It is good and it turns out that Bucky knew how much to make as there really isn’t any left. The rest of the day is kind of lazy, people finding different things to do at different times, Clint showing Bucky his makeshift range by the barn, some bad soap operas end up on the tv, and all of it is pretty nice even though at times Bucky seems a bit quiet. There is possibly something brothering him, Clint knows that Steve has noticed it as well but it won’t do any good to push him. He is still recovering right now and they don’t want to do anything to set him back, if Bucky wants to talk about it, it is his choice to do so and Clint won’t take that away from him.

Soon enough evening comes, the air cooling down and they make some dinner, everybody pitching in and they eat and clean up together. There are a few card games then, some poker and a game of slap jack that gets slightly out of hand and then people start turning in for the evening. Clint and Steve are back in their room now, ready for bed and it still feels a little odd that Bucky went into another room instead of following them in here. He pushes the feeling aside as he gets into bed, as he lays down next to Steve, puts his head on his shoulder and Steve warps an arm around him.

It is nice, being this close to Steve and it is easy to lean a bit closer and brush lips against his neck. Steve takes a breath in it at the kiss and Clint smiles against his skin, moves away just to move back and place a kiss against his mouth. Steve holds Clint close to him now, returns the kiss, and then pulls away and asks a question.

“How tired are you?”

“I could stay up a bit longer.”

Clint says this with a small smirk and it gets him a grin from Steve and another kiss. There are more kisses and touches that come after that, covers thrown off the bed, clothes shed, and it is good. There is a hurried pace to it, a bit of urgency but they can go slow later. For now, Clint just lets himself enjoys, lets Steve pin him down and kiss his neck, his mouth staying there for a bit and he knows there is going to be a mark there tomorrow but he doesn’t really mind. He likes the feel of Steve’s mouth against his skin, likes the feel of Steve on top of him, in him, and it is over almost too quickly, a rush that comes over Clint first and then Steve.

They lay like that for a few moments after, still entangled together, and Steve brushes a kiss against Clint’s forehead now. It is different than some of the kisses form before, it is gentle, a tender gesture and Clint smiles at it, speaks after a moment.

“We should clean up.”

“We should.”

Steve says this but it is still a few moments before he moves, before he gets off of Clint. He holds a hand out for Clint and Clint takes it, walks with him to the little half bath connected to their room. They clean up, help each other wash up with a cloth, and then they move back to the bed, pull the covers back up. They get rearranged again, lay down next to each other and get ready to sleep. As Clint starts to drift off, he thinks about how the bed still feels a bit empty but Steve is next to him, warm and solid, and that is enough.

*-*-*-*-*

Running on Clint’s land is a bit different than running in the city but Steve still enjoys it. The air is crisp, cool fall air, and the trees are a really pretty shade of orange and Steve might draw them later, try to get the colors right with his pencils . That will be something he does in the afternoon, right now he loops back around to where Sam is sitting under a tree, catching his breath before they head back to the house. Sam looks up at him in-between heavy breaths.

“I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. My lungs might burst.”

“They haven’t before so I think you will make it.”

Steve says this as he sits down and Sam just leans back against the tree and shakes his head a bit. They sit in quiet for a few moments before Steve breaks the silence.

“So you guys are heading back tomorrow, right?”

Steve asks and Sam gives a nod.

“Got to head back but this has been a good break, a nice change from the crazy but I’m sure it will start back up again. You guys don’t have boring lives.”

“I think you can include yourself in that now.”

Steve says this and Sam gives a little laugh.

“I guess so. It has been a lot of crazy since you showed up but there’s been a lot of good too.”

There is a bit of a grin now and Steve returns it.

“I am glad to hear that. So everything going good between you guys?”

He asks now, doesn’t want to pry too much but he doesn’t think the question is too much. Steve has seen the three of them together enough to know that it at least seems to be working. Sam gets a pleased look on his face and nods his head, speaks.

“That is definitely some of the good, still can’t quite figure out how I found myself with them but I’m just going along with the ride for now. “

Sam talks a little bit more about it, nothing too detailed but just enough to let Steve know that he is happy, that they have had a few challenges but they are working through them, figuring them out together. They talk a bit more, Sam teasing Steve just a little bit about Clint, the mark on his neck from the other night did not go unnoticed but it is all good natured and Steve doesn’t mind talking about this with Sam. The subject turns to Bucky, to how he is doing now, and Steve thinks about it for a few moments before he answers.

“He is doing better, I know he is, just sometimes he gets a bit quiet, like something is bothering him but I don’t know what. “

Steve has thought about it and he still isn’t sure what is brothering Bucky but he knows there is something. He looks at Steve sometimes, at Clint, when he thinks they aren’t looking and there is a strange look on his face, the one Steve has noticed every so often, a lost kind of a look. It is like Bucky wants or needs something but he isn’t sure how to get it and Steve doesn’t know how to help.

“Maybe he is just still adjusting, getting used to people still. He spends most of his time with you and Clint, it is possible he just gets a bit lonely being around a couple all the time.”

Sam says this and it draws Steve out of his thoughts a bit. It is true that most of Bucky’s time is spent with them and maybe he is just a bit lonely, maybe a bit jealous of how Steve and Clint are with each other. It is something to think about.

“Maybe. We should head back now.”

Steve says this, gets up and offers a hand to Sam. He takes it, gets up and then they head back to the house, walking this time. The others are up now, in the kitchen and there is breakfast and coffee. Clint is already at the table, right next to Bucky, and they are talking about something. It sounds a bit like an argument but their voices aren’t harsh, aren’t raised, the whole thing sounds more teasing than anything.

“You have to have open space with arrows. You can’t shoot through a wall very easily with an arrow.”

Bucky says this, is shaking his head at Clint right now and Clint just grins at him, leans forward and puts a hand on his shoulder. Steve can see Bucky’s shoulder tense up for just a second but then he relaxes into the touch as Clint speaks.

“You can when the arrow explodes.”

Bucky is still shaking his head but there is a smile on his face now and Steve likes that smile. He remembers when Bucky used to smile so easy, those charming grins he would give to the girls on their various double dates, the small smiles he used to give Steve when it was just the two of them. He still doesn’t smile quite as easily now but he is smiling more and Steve is glad for it, even if there are still those lost looks sometimes.

“This is a sniper debate, isn’t it?”

He asks now as he sits down next to Bucky, drawing both of their attention to him. Clint’s hand is still on Bucky’s shoulder and there is a brief look on Bucky’s face, something like guilt before he shifts forward to grab his water, making Clint move his hand away. Clint just puts his hand down now and gives another grin.

“Sniper debates are the best debates. “

Steve just shakes his head a bit, starts eating his breakfast. The conversation resumes after just a moment and Steve just listens. Steve can shoot but not to the extent that Bucky and Clint can and they are almost in their own little world right now, talking about range of different weapons, about different weather conditions. Steve tunes it out just a bit and joins in a conversation with the others about animated movies, debating which period of Disney is the best. Breakfast finishes up soon enough and they clean up and that is when Clint speaks up again.

“Bucky and I are going to shoot today. Want to come?”

It is an offer and Steve thinks about it for a moment. He likes watching them shoot, they are both so good at it that it is fun to watch but he thinks about Sam’s words from earlier, about Bucky’s lost looks and he shakes his head now.

“I think I will stay behind this time. Don’t shoot each other.”

Clint just tells him no promises and leaves to go get his gear. Bucky starts to follow and Steve stops him for just a moment, places a hand his arm and gives it a small squeeze.

“Have fun, Buck.”

“I will.”

He says this, gives Steve a little smile and Steve lets go of his arm now. Bucky and Clint leave after that and Steve spends sometime with the others and works on his some drawings most of the day and makes a promise to himself to make sure to spend some alone time with Bucky soon.

Steve gets his chance the next day, after Sam, Natasha, and Maria leave in the morning. The kitchen is a bit bare and they are planning on staying at least a couple more days and they need food. It is a bit of a drive into town and Steve asks Bucky if he wants to make the trip in with him, Clint wanting to stay behind and work on some stuff around the house. Bucky accepts and soon enough they are on their way to town.

The drive in is a bit quiet, both of them listening to the radio, occasionally making a comment about one of the songs. Steve has it on the local station, tries to expose himself to modern music sometimes, and some of it is good and some is not but that is how it has always been. The ride is pleasant and the trip to the store isn’t that bad either. They walk through the aisles, grabbing various things and when they are near the fruit, Bucky shakes his head a bit.

“I miss bananas, real bananas.”

He says this as they are near the yellow fruit and Steve understands just what he means.

“Clint keeps telling me that those are real bananas, just a different type that what was popular when we were younger, but I still don’t like them. They just taste off, a lot of fruit does.”

It doesn’t taste how Steve remembers and sometimes he hates that, wishes he could have it like he remembers it but he knows things change. They change for everyone just he didn’t get the time to adjust to them as they were happening. Bucky is a bit of the same, exposed to some things during his time as the winter soldier but not a lot, and it helps having him around, to have someone who understands.

“Those apples we had the other day were good, made me want pie like our moms used to make, with all the cinnamon and butter.”

Steve knows exactly what Bucky is talking about and he hasn’t had apple pie in a while. He gives Bucky a smile and puts hand on his shoulder.

“We got those at the farmer’s market nearby, Clint said it is open today. We can get some and try to make it. Might not turn out right but it might. Want to risk it?”

He asks and Bucky thinks for just a moment before he gives a shrug and Steve can feel the movement under his hand.

“Might as well.”

They end up getting everything for it, the apples, the cinnamon, the butter, flour and eggs and a pan in case there isn’t one at the farm. When they get back to the farm, they tell Clint they are going to attempt to make pie and he digs out an old cookbook, leaves them to it. They both end up covered in flour and Bucky gets pie dough stuck in his hair, but after a while , there is pie cooling on the window. When they try it, it isn’t quite how Steve remembers it but it is still good and between the three of them, they manage to eat the whole thing in one setting. It is a good night and when they go to bed, Steve feels comfortable and warm but the room feels a bit empty with Bucky down the hall instead of with them but Steve pushes the thought aside and lets himself sleep, Clint beside him, sharing his warmth.

*-*-*-*-*

It has just been the three of them the last two days, the others already heading back , and it has been both enjoyable and awful for Bucky. He likes spending time with Clint and Steve, has had some time with both of them alone the last couple days, time on the range with Clint, Steve and him going into to town, and it has been nice. They are comfortable with him, giving touches freely, and Bucky likes each brush of contact, has missed it after decades of not having much, but it makes it hard sometimes. They touch him but they also touch each other and Bucky is jealous of it a bit. He knows that they have been taking advantage of having a room to themselves at night and he can’t really blame them but it doesn’t stop the surge of want and envy whenever he gets a glimpse of the mark on Clint’s throat. The need has been growing and Bucky does the only thing he can think of, decides to relieve it himself.

He is in the shower right now, warm water spraying over him, Clint and Steve downstairs, and he is trying to decide the best way to do this. It has been a long time for him but he can remember it vaguely, touching himself in hurried moments, trying not to let anyone know what he was doing. He can also remember being with a few girls now, soft hands and lips, perfect lipstick that got smudged, not doing everything but just enough and he tries to think about that now as he wraps a hand around his cock, starts to move it. It is nice, remembering that but it isn’t quite right.

His hand is still stroking and he takes a breath now, allows himself to think about what he really wants. He thinks about hands now, not soft and small but strong and callused, Clint’s hands, thinks about Steve’s lips, how he licks them when he is concentrating. He brings his metal hand to rest on the wall of the shower as the water still runs over him and his flesh hand keeps ahold of his cock, picking up the rhythm a bit more now. He lets himself picture it now, picture how they must look when they are together. He thinks about how that mark got on Clint’s throat, how Steve must have took time to suck the bruise on it, how maybe Clint wrapped a hand around the back of Steve’s neck and kept Steve there. He thinks about Clint marking Steve as well, how he probably did and the serum just made them fade faster. He thinks about it all and then he thinks about being there with them, watching it.

It is a pretty picture, the one in Bucky’s head, and he has closed his eyes now, can almost see it like it is happening. His hand still keeps at it and his breathing is increasing a bit. He can feel it building, the tension all inside of him, the pleasure, and he thinks about touching them now. Bucky thinks about what their kisses would feel like, thinks about their hands on him, and that is what does it. He comes then, hand covered with it, and it feels good and he bites back his sounds, an old habit. He lets go of his cock now, leans his head against the shower wall and takes a few deep breathes. The water is cooling down now and he needs to rinse off so he gives himself just a moment, opens his eyes and then he does so.

Soon enough, Bucky is clean and in fresh clothes. His hair is still a little damp but he just combs out the tangles, puts a hair tie around his wrist in case he wants to pull it back later. He has kept it a bit longer by choice, has gotten it trimmed, and as he pushes a strand back behind his ear, he thinks about Clint or Steve doing that and it sends a pang through him again. He allowed himself the fantasy just a few minutes before but he can’t dwell on it now, not when he is about to go spend time with them and be faced with the reality. He takes another deep breath and heads down the stairs, walks to the living room, where Steve is already seated on the couch, gestures for Bucky to join him. Bucky does, sits down right next to him.

“You took a long shower. Got all the dirt off now?”

Steve says this, a bit of a joke and Bucky just gives a nod, tries not to think about what he was doing in the shower besides getting dirt off. He just asks Steve if they picked out a movie while he was cleaning up. Steve tells him that they did, that it is ready to go and they just have to wait for Clint to come back with popcorn. There are already some drinks on the coffee table and Bucky just leans forward and takes one of them, the ginger ale and takes a drink. When he sets it down, Clint is walking into the room with a bowl of pop corn and Bucky starts to scot to the other end of the couch so Clint can sit next to Steve but Clint shakes his head.

“You stay in the middle. I don’t want to hold the bowl.”

“So I get to do it instead?”

Bucky makes his voice sound outraged but he is smirking just a bit and he takes the bowl when Clint hands it to him.

“You and Steve are going to eat most of it so one of you should hold it.”

Clint says this and neither of them argue. He sits down next to Bucky and then they start the movie. Bucky spends it in-between them, Clint’s leg brushing against his and Steve’s shoulder next to him and it is nice. They watch the movie and somewhere along the way, the bowl gets finished off and put on the table, and the three of them are even closer together on the couch, Steve’s arm flung round Bucky’s shoulder and Clint’s legs are spread out now on both his and Steve’s laps. Bucky has his arms resting on Clint’s legs and leans against Steve’s shoulders just a bit and he wishes that they could stay like this. They don’t, the movie ends and they clean up and head upstairs and Bucky is alone again in his room. It takes a while for sleep to find him but it does and he dreams about things he wants instead of what he has gone through. The dreams are nice but they are just dreams and he feels a bit sad when he wakes up from it but he pushes it aside and focuses on pretending.

*-*-*-*-*

They have been back from the farm for over a week now, almost two and something is different with Bucky now but Clint isn’t sure quite what. They have been trying to spend a bit more time with him one on one, encouraging Bucky to do stuff with other as well, and Steve has started talking about finding a place with more room so he can have a bit more space. They think he liked having his own room at the farm since coming back he has taken to sleeping on the couch instead of with them and Clint kind of misses having him with them at night, knows Steve does to but they don’t say anything about it. Bucky gets to make his choices now and neither of them are going to pressure him into doing something he doesn’t want to. Still, right now Clint wishes that their sleeping arrangement had remained like it was before the farm because right now Clint is in bed alone and he hates it.

Steve is on a mission right now, one that shouldn’t take too long and not all of them were needed it for it. Only Steve and Nat are out there and Clint knows that they will have each other’s back and come home safely if they can but it doesn’t change the fact that Clint is currently sleeping alone. The bed feels too big, too cold, and when Clint does manage to fall asleep, that is when the nightmares start.

It is Loki, a lot of his nightmares are, and this is not one that has happened, but one that could have. Clint is there and he can see what he is doing, what his hands are doing, holding the knife steady, how they cut into Nat’s skin, as they make her body as red as her hair, and he can’t stop himself. She doesn’t cry, doesn’t scream, and there is little betrayal in her eyes when Clint sees them and that makes it worse. The life fades from her and Clint is screaming his head off but his mouth doesn’t move and Loki is telling him what a good job he has done. The praise fills Clint with pride just as it does with horror and disgust and he can hear his screams now though his mouth is still not moving and there is another voice that he can hear, one that isn’t Loki’s but he recognizes it.

“You are safe, Clint. You are safe and what you are seeing isn’t happening right now. Just breathe.”

It is Bucky’s voice and Clint opens his eyes now, heart pounding in his chest and his breaths coming in gasps but his screaming has stopped now. Bucky is right there and he has his hands on Clint’s arms, helps him to sit up and he soothes him a bit, reassures him that it isn’t real now. Clint can feel himself calming down but when he speaks, his voice is just a bit shaky.

“I couldn’t stop myself, I wanted to but I couldn’t. All I could do was what I was told and I couldn’t stop it.”

Bucky just holds him tighter, makes sure Clint is looking at him and he speaks with a calm voice, a steady voice.

“It isn’t like that now. You decide what you do, only you. We don’t have to do as we are told.”

Bucky says this and it fills Clint with relief. Bucky understands, understands like Nat does, understands what it is like to have everything about you broken into pieces and put back together as a weapon. Steve is great after his nightmares, a strong steady presence, reassuring him that he is safe but he doesn’t understand the same way like Bucky does. Steve has nightmares but they are different. Steve doesn’t have the nightmare of being broken and remade, to know it was a reality once. Steve doesn’t have the nightmare of not being able to stop himself and Clint hopes that he never does.

“I don’t want that to ever happen to Steve, either. We’ll keep him safe if we can.”

Clint didn’t realize that he spoke that thought aloud but apparently he did and Buck’s words now help. Clint just gives a nod, breathes in some more, trusts Bucky’s words. Steve is important to them both, maybe for slightly different reasons, but it is good to know how much Bucky cares. They sit like that a bit longer, Bucky holding Clint and all the terror of the dreams fades, replaced with relief and reassurance that Clint isn’t alone.

“Doing better?”

Bucky asks and Clint gives a little nod. Bucky gives a brief smile and asks another question.

“Anything you need?”

Clint thinks about it for a moment and then gives an answer.

“I think I would like you to stay with me tonight, sleep in the bed, with me, if you want. It is easier when I’m not alone, Steve’s s isn’t back yet, and we have never minded sharing with you. I would like you here, if you want.”

The words all come out in a jumble and Bucky’s arms tighten around him around him just a bit and a look crosses Bucky’s face that Clint isn’t quite sure about. It almost looks happy but sad at the same time but it disappears quickly and Bucky waits a moment and then he gives Clint an answer.

“If you want me to, I’ll stay.”

“I want you to.”

Clint says this and his voice is steady now. Bucky just gives a nod then moves his arms away and lays down on the bed, moves the covers so they can both get under them. Clint gets under them and after just a moment, he moves just a bit close so that he is right next to Bucky, their bodies touching. Bucky doesn’t move away and Clint turns and looks at him now, speaks.

“You know, whenever you need it, you can come in here. We don’t mind.”

Clint makes the offer, thinks that Bucky needs to hear it.

“I know.”

Bucky says this and it is enough for Clint. He closes his eyes after a moment and the bed feel better now with Bucky here, the only thing that would make it better would be if Steve was here. Steve isn’t here but Bucky is and Clint can feel his warmth and it is nice. Clint can admit to himself that he has thought about what it would be like for Bucky to come to bed with them every night like he used to but instead of staying in his own space, he lies with them, the three of them huddled together. Clint thinks that would be nice but he isn’t sure if that is anything Bucky would want, if Steve would want that as well even though Clint knows how much Steve cares for Bucky. It is still a nice thought even if it can’t happen and Clint lets himself think about it as he drifts off, Bucky next to him, warm and solid.

*-*-*-*-*

Bucky still gets that lost look but Steve isn’t noticing it as much anymore or Bucky is getting better at hiding it and Steve isn’t sure which one it is. He just knows that Bucky is still getting better, that he doesn’t tense up and Clint’s and Steve’s touch as much anymore, and he still sleeps on the couch sometimes but he also comes and sleeps with Clint and Steve some nights, sleeps in bed with one of them when the other is gone. Steve knows that they should still get another place, that Bucky deserves a room of his own but he likes the nights that all three of them are together. It feels right and sometimes Steve thinks that his feelings are becoming a bit more complicated than he planned on.

He loves Clint, has no doubt about it. Clint is amazing, strong despite how much the world has hurt him, and he has been there for Steve, helped him fit in this world. He loves Clint and he is in love with Clint, in love with him like he was with Peggy all those years ago, how he still is just a bit even though their chance is long gone and she has had a good life without him. Still being a bit in love with Peggy didn’t stop Steve from falling for Clint, doesn’t stop him from loving him now. Steve has accepted that he can love more than one person at once, be in love with more than one person, and that is how he is able to recognize what is happening.

Steve loves Bucky, has no doubt about it, but he wasn’t in love with Bucky or at least he didn’t think he was. Something has changed now, Steve doesn’t know if it is just feelings he has always had and can finally recognize or if it is because he lost Bucky once and can remember how it had hurt or that they just fit together a little differently now but Steve thinks he is in love with him now. It is a strange feeling, realizing he is in love with his best friend but it doesn’t change too much. Bucky is his past, childhood and the war, here with him now, and Clint helps tie him to the present. He still loves Clint, is still in love with Clint, he is just also in love with Bucky and sometimes he wonders if Clint loves Bucky like that too, if Bucky could love both of them like that. He tries not to think about the maybes and instead focus on what they have now, the quiet comfortable moments with all three of them together like right now.

“Is it moving better now?”

Clint asks this as he makes adjustments to some of his arrows, sitting on the couch, Bucky beside him flexing the fingers of his metal arm. They had a mission a few days ago and Bucky’s arm had sustained a little damage, had to be fixed up, and he has been getting it adjusted the last few days. Steve isn’t sitting with them right now, is in one of the chairs drawing but he watches them right now, watches Bucky give a nod.

“A bit. It is mostly functional now, just feels a bit odd since some of the plates were replaced.”

Bucky keeps moving it and Clint is about to say something else when they all hear his phone ring from the bedroom. He grumbles a bit about calls always coming when he is actually doing something but he puts his arrows down and makes his way to the bedroom. They can hear him answer it, hear some muffled words form his side of the conversation but neither of them move right now, just stay where they are seated. If it is something that requires them, Clint will let them know. A few minutes pass and then Clint is coming out of the bedroom, heading over to where he left his arrows and he speaks as he moves.

“That was Hill, there is a mission, one that requires a sniper and I need to leave in three hours. Shouldn’t take too long, just a couple of days at the most, but it needs to be done.”

He starts grabbing his arrows now, putting the ones that are done in the quiver. Steve puts his pad done now, rises, but Bucky speaks before he can.

“Just you? We aren’t being called in as well?”

It happens sometimes, just one of them needed but Steve knows that Bucky prefers it when all three of them are on mission together and Steve does as well. Clint just keeps getting his equipment ready.

“Just me. I’ll be fine, survived lots of missions before I had super soldier babysitters.”

They can’t really argue about that, Clint is fully capable and Steve just asks him if he can at least tell them a bit about the mission, time table and location , and how often he thinks he will be able to check in. They discuss it all as Clint packs and gets ready and soon enough, he is ready to leave. Steve brushes a kiss against his lips, has his hand on the back of Clint’s head, fingers tangled in his hair and Clint wraps his arms around Steve. Bucky is near by but he is quiet right now, lets them have this moment, but Steve can feel his eyes on them as he speaks to Clint.

“Be careful. If something happens, I’m coming for you.”

It is something Steve has said a lot before missions, something Clint has told him as well, and Steve means it. If anything happens to Clint, he will rush to him just as he has done before, just like he did all those years ago when Bucky was captured. Clint just brushes another kiss against Steve’s, smiles as he pulls back.

“I expect if you have to come get me, you will have a tag along.”

Steve gives his own smile now.

“Probably.”

Steve knows that if he has to go after Clint, Bucky will be right there with him and it is nice feeling. He takes one more kiss and lets Clint’s hair go now, lets Clint unwrap his arms from around Steve. Clint walks over to Bucky now and Steve lets them have their own good bye.

It isn’t the same as his and Clint’s, there isn’t any kissing, no arms wrapping around each other but there is still something intimate about it. There are softly spoken words, Bucky saying something about exploding arrows and Clint grinning and giving Bucky’s right shoulder a little smack before settling his hand there for a few moments. Bucky bring his own hand to where Clint’s left shoulder meets his neck, places it there, thumb resting on Clint’s collar bone. He speaks then and Steve hears these words clearly.

“Don’t do anything stupid but if you do, we will come get you.”

He lets go of Clint now and Clint grins, squeezes Bucky’s shoulder briefly before letting go and talking as he picks up some of his stuff and he gestures a bit towards Bucky as he does.

“I think I’m leaving most of the stupid here.”

It is an insult, a joke, and it reminds Steve of one he made years ago at Bucky when he left. Bucky must remember it too because he rolls his eyes a bit as he speaks now.

“You know Steve has done that one before, right?”

Clint just shrugs and Steve just smiles a bit.

“You set yourself up for it every time, Buck.”

Bucky shakes his head, mumbles a whatever under his breath, but he doesn’t really look upset. Clint just grabs his stuff and makes his way to the door, opens it and gets ready to leave.

“See you later, boys. Try not to have too much fun without me.”

That is what Clint says and then he shuts the door behind him and it is just Steve and Bucky.

The first day Clint is gone for his mission goes fine, Bucky slept in bed with Steve the night before, they stuck to their routine, and Clint was able to check in with them. The second day there isn’t a check in but he had warned them that there probably wouldn’t be and so Steve tries not to worry but there is still a bad feeling in his gut. He tries to ignore it but he thinks maybe Bucky feels it too as he seems a bit wound most of the day. That night, they lay in bed and neither of them are sleeping when Steve’s phone rings. He answers it and it is Maria on the other line and the first words out of her mouth make Steve turn cold.

“Clint’s been captured.”

Steve doesn’t get a chance to ask too many questions because Maria already seems to know a lot of what he is going to ask. She tells him what she knows, that it was Hydra, where they think Clint is, and that she knows they are going to want to go after him. She isn’t going to stop them, just wants Steve to know that Natasha and Sam will meet them so that they can head out as soon as possible. Steve asks her where they need to meet up, gets it, and tells her to call if anything changes. By the time he hangs up, he is already out of bed and so is Bucky. He doesn’t have to say anything, Bucky is already putting on some tactical gear and just gives a nod to Steve as he starts to do the same.

“We’ll get him back.”

Bucky says this as they start getting their gear together, as he puts a hand on Steve’s should and gives it a squeeze and Steve tries to push down the worry in his gut. They can do this, they have to do this, and Steve just hopes they get to Clint before he is hurt too much.

*-*-*-*-*

Bucky is exhausted, worn out and wrung out, the last few days, the last few hours taking a toll on him and he isn’t the only one. They are all run ragged right now, tired and bruised, but they have Clint back and it is a little bit of relief but not as much as it should be. Clint is alive, but he is pale in the hospital bed, some vivid bruises on his skin, and he had lost some blood, had a deep wound in his side but he is going to make it. Hydra didn’t do anything that was going to cause too much permanent damage, didn’t do anything they wouldn’t be able to fix, but they hurt Clint just enough to keep him from escaping. They wanted Clint alive, the reason doesn’t matter but Bucky can guess at it, and they made those at the base they found Clint at pay.

It was all of them but he and Steve did a lot of the damage, both of them hurting and angry and everyone could see it. He and Steve tore the base down and they both did if for Clint but Bucky was the one to get to him first. Clint was barely conscious and Bucky isn’t sure he was even aware of the words Bucky spoke to him.

“You’re safe. I told you we would come for you. Just don’t leave, I need you, we need you.”

He said it as he held Clint close, as he carried him to safety. As he walked, Clint passed out in his arms and Bucky had felt a bit of panic then, had to tell himself that it was alright, that Clint was still breathing. He had paused only to let the others know that he had found Clint, that he was taking him to the quinjet right now, and Steve had been the first to reply and he had the relief and worry in Steve’s voice as he told him to get Clint there, to wait for them.

Bucky got there, got Clint settled, started checking the damage done to him. There was blood on him, Clint was so very pale, but he was breathing steadily and Bucky just sat beside him, started cleaning him up and bandaging him up. It hurt to see Clint like that, to see him so still and wounded , and Bucky wanted to hurt them more, hurt the ones who did this but they had already seen to that. It might have been the pain Bucky felt at the sight of Clint, the worry for him, the exhaustion of the mission, or maybe the relief that they found him, but whatever it was that caused it, he just knows that he did something he shouldn’t have, something he can’t take back, and something that may have cost him a lot.

He had leaned down and brushed a kiss against Clint’s skin, his cheek and close to his lips. It was quick, a brief press of lips and Bucky isn’t entirely sure why he did it but he did. Clint’s skin was a bit clammy but it was warm and he could feel Clint’s breath against his skin and it was a relief to feel it, to know that Clint was still hanging on. The relief was short lived as when he sat up, he was no longer alone.

“How is he?”

It was Steve’s voice Bucky heard and when he turned and looked, Steve was there, shoulders tensed up, body still, and an expression on his face that Bucky couldn’t read. He wasn’t sure if Steve saw the kiss or not but guilt filled him then and it has stayed with him since. It stayed as he told Steve about Clint’s condition, it stayed as Sam and Natasha came and they left. It stayed during the flight as he and Steve stayed by Clint’s side, Natasha just a few feet away as Sam flew. It stayed as they got Clint to the hospital, as Hill met them, as the doctors took Clint. It stayed as they all waited for news, stayed as they were told he was ok, that he was stable and would need to stay here over night. It stayed as they all entered Clint’s room, could see him sleeping. He still feels it now as he and Steve sit in quiet now, Steve on Clint’s left and Bucky on his right, Maria dragging Sam and Natasha out just a few minutes early to get something for them all to eat and drink. The guilt is heavy in Bucky right now and he doesn’t say anything and he can’t look at Steve but he can’t look away from Clint. He sits there and stares at Clint asleep and after a moment, he can hear Steve’s voice softly over the hum of the equipment of the room.

“Do you love him?”

Such a loaded question and Bucky should shake his head, should lie, should tell Steve that no, he doesn’t love Clint, that Clint is his friend, nothing more. Instead, he says nothing stays still and he isn’t sure what to do, what Steve wants him to say.

“I need to know. Do you love him, Bucky? Do you love Clint like I love him?”

Bucky’s chest feels tight now, everything feels tight, and he makes himself take a breath. He closes his eyes for just a moment and then he opens them but he still can’t look at Steve . He looks at Clint’s sleeping face as he tells Steve the truth.

“Yes. I love him like you do, have for a while now.”

It is the truth and the room is so quiet right now. It is the truth but not all of it and Steve deserves all of it now. He turns his eyes away from Clint now but he still can’t look at Steve so he stares at the beige wall as words tumble out of him.

“I love you too, love you like Clint does. I shouldn’t but I do, didn’t mean to but I don’t know if I can stop. I love you, both of you, and it isn’t my place to.”

It is all out now, everything Bucky has held in for a while. He doesn’t feel relief exactly but at least now he doesn’t have to worry about hiding it anymore. Steve knows and he is sure once Clint wakes up, Steve will tell Clint about it. He doesn’t know what is going to happen and there is a moment of a quiet but then he hears Steve’s chair move and Bucky stands up now, turns as Steve comes closer to him. He isn’t sure if Steve is going to hit him but if Steve does, he won’t hit back. Steve leans forward now and he doesn’t look angry exactly but there is something anxious in his face and his hand grips Bucky’s shoulder and he just stares at Bucky for a long moment like he isn’t sure what to do or say.  

“Bucky, I need you to…”

Steve doesn’t get to finish the rest of his words, the door opens and the others are moving into the room and Bucky takes the distraction and moves away from Steve’s grip, moves away from Steve and out of the room quickly. He can hear voices, the others speaking but he moves quickly makes it down the hall. He just needs to get away, can’t be near Steve and Clint right now but he doesn’t leave the hospital. He wanders for a bit and then sits down near one of the entrances and that is where he is found after a bit.

“Steve wouldn’t say exactly what happened but something did, I don’t care what, Sam and Nat are keeping Steve in the room, I just want to know if you need out of here.”

Maria is in front of him now and she isn’t who he expected to find him but her voice had been calm and she is looking at him not with concern exactly but something close to it.

“I will make sure you are updated on Clint if anything happens, Steve will be there when he wakes up, we will make sure of it, but you look ragged right now and my apartment is near by. Here are the keys, if you need to get away take them and if you see a gray cat on my steps, there is food inside the entryway and you should fill up the metal bowl with some and put water in the plastic one and set them outside. There is also a bag of cat treats, give her some if you feel up to it. If she tries to come in, let her and bring the food inside. ”

Bucky isn’t quite sure what to say, hasn’t really had that many one on one interactions with her, so he says the first things that comes to mind.

“You have a cat?”

Maria just stares at him and holds the keys out expectantly.

“Not yet but she is warming up to the idea and there is a litter box ready incase she decides to come in. If you chase her away, I will never let you near my apartment again.”

He looks at the keys, thinks about it for just a moment before taking them.

“Thanks for this. “

He says it and she just shrugs.

“You go on missions that I send you on that makes you one of my people, Barnes. Now, here is the address, keep your phone on, don’t use my deep conditioner, and be nice to the cat.”

She says this, hands Bucky a piece of paper with some quickly written directions and address on it, and turns and walks away. Bucky just accepts it for what it is and starts to make his way there, leaves the hospital behind but not his guilt and hopes that Clint will be awake in a few hours.

*-*-*-*-*

“…not explaining to him why his boyfriend isn’t here. In a few hours, you can leave and take care of what you need to take care of but not until after Clint is awake.”

These words are the first thing Clint hears as he wakes up, body hurting but alive, and he knows that voice. It is Nat and it is so good to hear her again and he opens his eyes, speaks as he does so.

“Guess he can leave now.”

The words come out a bit rough but they are heard and Steve is rushing to him now, Natasha right behind him. It is two of Clint’s favorite people but something doesn’t quite feel right, something is missing.

“Clint, we got you out, we took care of them. You’re going to be alright. ”

Steve says all this in a rush and he is right next to Clint now, has grabbed ahold of Clint’s hand. Steve’s skin is warm and Clint is so glad to feel it, to have Steve right here in front of him, to know that they got him out of there. Nat is calling out to the hallway now and there are others coming in now, Sam and Maria, and Clint knows now what feels wrong, what is missing.

“Where’s Bucky?”

He asks and so many horrible thoughts are flashing through Clint’s head now. There is no way Bucky didn’t come with them to get him, Hydra had Clint, would try to get their soldier back if they can. What if they got Clint out but Bucky got left behind, what if Hydra has him, what if Bucky didn’t make it back? Clint is panicking just a bit now but Steve is still holding his hand and Maria speaks and it calms Clint down.

“Barnes is fine, no injuries and he is at my place just a few blocks away, hopefully he fed the cat .”

Clint isn’t sure what most of that means just knows Bucky is ok but he isn’t here and when Clint looks over at Steve there is a bit of guilt and something else in his face and Clint wonders what the hell happened while he was unconscious and bleeding. Natasha is near him now, puts a hand on his shoulder and draws his attention to her.

“Let the doctors look you over in a little bit, talk to Steve, and when you can leave, you can use my key to Maria’s place and talk to Barnes. Once you have things cleared up, once you know what is going on, tell me because I would like to know and Steve won’t tell, just said he needs to talk to both of you about something.”

That doesn’t really clear up a whole lot but she gives a gentle squeeze of his shoulder, puts the key she mentioned on the night stand. The doctors come in then, Steve gives his hand a squeeze and brushes a quick kiss against his lips and then they all leave him. The exam is done quickly and he is given instructions about his stiches , some antibiotics and pain pills, and told that they would like him to stay but that he can leave if he really wants to. Maria must have warned them that he doesn’t do hospitals well. The doctor leaves and then Steve comes back in, some clothes for Clint and he sets them down now, sits down next to Clint and takes his hand again.

“I love you before I tell you anything else, I need you to hear that. I love you.”

“I know. I love you.”

He says this, thinks Steve needs to hear it and Steve gives a smile now.

“You know how we talked about Peggy, how I still love her a bit but that I love you, and you said that was alright, that you can love more than one person?”

Clint gives a nod and he is really curious now what the hell is going on. Steve has paused now, grown quiet again and patience isn’t always Clint’s strong suit when he isn’t on mission.

“Steve, tell me what the hell happened while I was knocked out.”

Steve speaks now and all his words are a rush but Clint catches them and they make him freeze up just a bit.

“ I love you and I love Bucky, always have, but it is different now. I am in love with Bucky, like I am with you. “

Clint doesn’t know what to say and Steve takes a breath and continues.

“I saw something, asked him if he loved you and he does, he loves us, and I didn’t get a chance to talk to him before he left. I was going to tell him the truth, that I love him but I wasn’t going to do more than that before I had a chance to talk to you. Do you think you could love Bucky like that, like more than a friend?”

Steve asks the question and his fingers stroke Clint’s hand as he waits for an answer. This is a lot to take in, Steve’s confession, Bucky apparently doing something and then confessing, and Clint is still a bit groggy from only being awake a little while and his side hurts from where he lost a lot of blood. This is something that maybe he should think about for a long time, maybe once he is healed up a bit more but at least he hasn’t taken any pain meds yet so he can’t blame those and he feels pretty lucid. He thinks about it for only a few moments before giving Steve an answer.

“I think I do already. He fits with us, you know?”

Clint means it, Bucky does fit. It is nice, knowing what the feeling is he has had for a while now, the want, and if there is chance that this can happen, the three of them, Clint wants to take it. He looks at Steve now and Steve gives a brief nod, eyes a bit excited.

“He does.”

He squeezes Clint’s hand now and Clint knows he wants to take the chance to, they just need to find out if Bucky is willing to as well.

“We need to talk to him but you need to tell me exactly what is going on.”

Clint says this. They need to talk to Bucky but they need to be on the same page first. Steve tells him about everything leading up to the hospital, about their worry, him and Bucky tearing the base apart to get to him, Bucky finding him first, Steve seeing Bucky places a kiss on Clint while he was asleep. Steve tells him about coming here, asking Bucky the question, and everything else. It is still a lot to take in and they discuss it a bit as Clint gets dressed, as they get ready to leave.

“Whatever he chooses, we have to deal with it.”  
Clint says this and Steve agrees, knows how important it is to let Bucky choose, how important it was for Clint to be able to choose Steve for himself. They leave the hospital now and Clint hopes that everything will work out.

*-*-*-*-*

The cat was on the steps like Maria predicted and it followed him inside, apparently deciding that now would be a good idea to take up room and board. She has been alright company, Bucky not really petting her or anything but she ate, hasn’t peed on anything that he is aware, and she is currently nestled up on one of Maria’s arm chairs. He isn’t sure if that is allowed but he isn’t going to tell the cat what to do and it can be Maria’s problem when she gets home. For now, Bucky lays on her couch and tells himself that he will go and face Steve in a little bit, that Steve will want a little time alone with Clint now that he is awake, Bucky receiving the message a few hours ago and he doesn’t want to intrude on it. He just lays there and feels the guilt still clawing at him when he hears the door open and footsteps coming to him.

“She is on the furniture, I haven’t given her a name, but I did give her a couple handfuls of treats. She may want more but that is your call now .”

He calls this out , figures that it is Maria, Sam and Natasha coming in even though Maria’s message said they were going to Sam’s so he is just a bit surprised when it is not her voice he hears now.

“Maria has a cat?”

It is Clint and he is in the room now, Steve right beside him and they both look at the gray thing on the chair before turning to Bucky .

“She does now.”

Bucky says this around the lump in his throat, sits up. He isn’t sure why they are here, what is going to happen, but there is relief that Clint is up and about, still a bit pale but ok. They both move closer to him now, to the couch and Bucky stays where he is, can’t move.

“Mind if we sit?”

Steve asks, gestures to the couch. Bucky gives a nod and then they both sit, Steve on his right and Clint on his left and Bucky feels almost trapped. They don’t seem angry but there is a nervousness in both of them, Bucky can see it in the way Steve sits so straight right now and how Clint’s fingers are moving against, drumming against his own thigh.

“So Steve and I had a talk a little while ago, about what happened while I was sleeping through my rescue. He said something about you confessing love, him wanting to confess love and then talk to me about feelings , you running away, and apparently before all that went down, you and I shared a kiss that Steve saw. You want to tell me how it was because I have no idea.”

Clint says all this in rapid fire and Bucky really only registers Clint asking about the kiss and there is a fresh wave of guilt that hits him and he can’t look at either of them and so he close his eyes. He gives an explanation and the words come out almost as quickly as Clint’s did.

“Everything was a mess, I did it before I realized what I was doing. It was just your cheek, didn’t touch your lips though I was close to them. I never meant to hurt either of you and it won’t happen again.”

He takes a deep breath now, still has his eyes screwed shut and a few seconds pass but it feels so much longer than that. The silence is finally broken by Clint’s voice.

“What if I want it to happen again, just be awake this time? Would that be ok?”

He hears it but Bucky can’t quite believe it and his eyes open now and he turns and looks at Clint. Clint is looking at him and there is a bit of question in his eyes right now. Bucky isn’t sure what to say and that is when he feels Steve’s hand comes up and rest on his shoulder. He turns and looks at Steve now.

“You left before I could finish. Bucky, I need you to know that I love you too and we should talk to Clint before anything else.”

The words come out, Steve’s voice is steady and sure, his hand warm against Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky takes a deep breath and his voice shakes just a bit as he speaks.

“Ok, we need to talk to Clint.”

“Good thing I’m right here.”

There is a hint of teasing in his voice and Clint moves forward now , wraps a hand on Bucky’s neck. He is warm too and Bucky relaxes into the touch now.

“So I just want you to know that I am not on pain meds right now so this is not any drugs speaking. I am pretty sure that I can love you, pretty sure that I love you now, and hell, you live with us, share our bed, and you let me use you as a foot rest. These last few months you have been practically dating us, you just haven’t gotten any smooches. So you want to try it with smooches?”

It is a mess of a statement, a babble of a confession but it suits Clint and Bucky finds it honest. He closes his eyes for a moment, needs to think about it just a bit, and Steve’s hand gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze as he speaks softly.

“We want try, if you want to try, it is your choice.”

There is a lot to lose, Bucky knows this , but there is also a lot to gain. It is a risk, but it is a risk he gets to choose to take and he makes his choice.

“I want to try.”

He opens his eyes now and Steve and Clint are both smiling at him and the guilt and worry is easing now, replaced with excitement and a bit of nervousness but hope.

“You want try a kiss now that I’m awake? It can be the lips even.”

Clint says this and Bucky gives a nod. Clint leans forward then, his hand still on the back of Bucky’s neck. Bucky places his right hand in Clint’s hair and then their lips brush. It is brief, just a quick meeting of mouths, but Clint’s lips are soft even if they are a little chapped and his hair feels nice under Bucky’s fingers. Clint pulls back after a moment, moves his hand to Bucky’s shoulder now as Bucky lets go of his hair and Steve’s hand has stayed on Bucky’s shoulder even when he moved his hand to Clint’s hair.

“You should kiss Steve now.”

Clint says this and Bucky turns to Steve now.

“You can, if you want.”

It is all that Bucky needs to hear and he leans forward, right hand sneaking around and finding its way to the small of Steve’s back, fingers resting there and Steve’s hand is still on his shoulder, moves so it rests a little bit more on his collar bone. Another brush of lips and Steve’s lips aren’t chapped but they soft like Clint’s were. He has wondered about this for weeks, months, about how a kiss with each of them would and now he knows and he smiles when he leans away from Steve now. This is a risk but Bucky thinks it is one worth taking.

*-*-*-*-*

In hindsight, Steve thinks that Clint’s words about them dating Bucky for months with out the smooches were absolutely true. They were able to slip into the thing they have now pretty easily. There were still a few bumps, some arguments, misunderstandings, but it has been good, is good. It has been a few months now and they are happy, content. There are still missions, still things to take care of, but they have each other and life is good for the most part. It is even better right now.

It is the three of them in bed. They have been trading lazy kisses and touches, some clothes have been discarded but none of them are fully undressed yet and Steve just watches right now as Bucky runs hands along Clint’s side, feathery light touches that make Clint squirm just a bit.

“You are so ticklish.”

There is fondness in his voice and Clint just squirms a bit more.

“Just sensitive to touch there, that’s all.”

He says it and Bucky smiles a bit and Steve moves closer now, watches as Bucky moves a hand to Clint’s hip instead, moves it slowly over Clint’s boxers, moves it so it rests on his inner thigh now, close to his cock but not touching it quite yet. Bucky has full smirk now and Clint is still squirming just a bit.

“What about here? Sensitive right here?”

Clint doesn’t answer and Bucky is moving his fingers just a bit now. Steve leans forward and speaks as he moves his own hand.

“He’s sensitive there but I think he likes it.”

Steve’s hand is now on Clint’s other thigh, mimicking the little movements Bucky’s fingers are doing and Steve lets one brush against Clint’s cock. There is a groan now and Steve just brushes his finger lightly against it again and Bucky does the same.

“We are wearing too many clothes for this. Undress now and stop teasing.”

Clint is sitting up now and Bucky moves his hand away and Steve does the same as Clint moves his hands to his boxers and tears them off. Bucky looks over at Steve now, gives a smirk right before he takes off his shirt.

“You heard him, Stevie. Lose the pants. “

Bucky says this when his shirt is off, as his hands move to his own boxers and takes them off. Steve doesn’t argue, pulls off his pants and then his boxers. There is more touching now, some kisses and hands brush against skin. It has taken them a little while to get used to this, for the three of them to figure out just how this works. There are things they each like and they are figuring out more of them as they go along. Right now, they touch and kiss, and discuss what they want as they do so and soon enough they have a plan.

Clint wants Bucky inside him tonight and Steve is fine with that, helps gets Clint ready for it. He stretches Clint a bit as Bucky watches now, as Bucky also gets himself a bit wet with the lube and once Clint is ready, Bucky moves over to him and Steve grabs a condom, rolls it onto Bucky. Bucky enters Clint and Steve just watches for a few moments, like the way they look together. Bucky thrusts into Clint, takes kisses as he does so, and Clint meets each one, is letting out moans. Steve strokes himself for a few moments and then Bucky speaks.

“You just going to watch tonight or you going to join?”

It is an invitation and Steve moves now, gets behind Bucky. They have only done this a few times, still getting used to everything but Steve is ready for it tonight. Bucky is wet there, already prepped a bit from earlier while Steve was prepping Clint but he still puts some lube on his finger now, works one in then another. Bucky stills just a bit as Steve does this and Clint keeps kissing him, has his hands on Bucky’s back, rubbing little circles there. When Steve thinks it is time, he puts some lube on his cock, strokes it a few more times, then a condom, and then he positions himself. He enters Bucky after a few moments and just stays like that for a few more before he begins to move.

It is the three of them, interconnected now, and they move, fine a rhythm. There are kisses still, hands moving over skin still, and Steve closes his eyes, enjoys it. It doesn’t take long for them to find the right spots, the right touches and Steve opens his eyes, likes to watch as they come. Bucky comes first, grunts and groans, wraps a hand around Clint as he does, still slides in and out as he strokes Clint.   Next is Clint and he lets out little whimpers, throws his head back. Steve is last and he can feel it rush through him and he stifles his noises against Bucky’s neck. It is good, really good, and they lay in a heap for a few moments before Steve moves and then Bucky.

They clean up after a bit, finding some of their clothes again, and then the lights are turned off. They crawl under the covers now and it is a bit of a tangle of bodies but it is nice. The sex is good but sometimes Steve thinks he likes this part the best, when it is over and they are getting ready to sleep the three of them cuddled together, the room quiet and dark. They all three fit in the bed, share each other’s warmth, and it is often times the best part of the day, these quiet moments right before sleep where they just hold each other.

Clint is in the middle tonight, Steve on his left and Bucky on his right. Steve leans over him just a bit, brushes a kiss against Bucky’s mouth before settling down again. Bucky wraps an arm around them both now and Clint nuzzles his nose against Steve’s neck. It is good, this thing between them and before Steve falls asleep, he thinks how right Clint was months ago when he said Bucky fits. He does fit, they all fit together, one whole made out of three parts.

*-*-*-*-*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is is, hope you enjoyed.


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